The Old Nostalgia Shop (July 21, 2008)

On July 18, 2006, I wrote on this very same blog:

It's that special time of the month when I start to get hopeful and dreamy and spend a little too much time wandering onto baby websites. Will this be our month? Can the little xxies and xyies find their way home? Will the egg be put to good use? Stay tuned to find out. Same bat time. Same bat channel.



I can't believe that only 2 years later, I'm sitting here thinking the same thing. Within those 2 years, I've given birth to the most amazing little boy and felt the pain of losing a pregnancy. And despite getting pregnant twice, I'm still worried about whether I can get pregnant and now I'm worried about sustaining that pregnancy.

Those of you who have read this blog through all these changes deserve an update on more than just my reproductive endeavors though. Some of you may remember the troubles DH and I had after the baby came. I am very proud to announce that we've worked through them and he has now been sober for quite some time. The most amazing part, though, is that I truly believe he has turned a corner in his life and become the person I knew he could be if he could quit drinking.

I still run my business, but I put it on hold for the summer. It was too stressful and I associated it with the miscarriage. I will go back to work on it this summer.

And dear James, the light of our lives, is so close to walking. He just can't quite let go and to be honest, mommy doesn't mind. He amazes us everyday with the new words and new things he says and does. Yesterday, he laid his head on my shoulder and patted my back - just like I have always done to him.

I am so incredibly blessed. I want so badly to bring another baby home to love, but how can I really ask for more?